Yes, I put a question mark at the end of the title. Mrs. Chili will more than likely be the first to correct that (it’s her job, and my Master’s Degree thanks her) until she reads more.
It is no doubt Father’s Day today, this is not what I question. I do question the happy part. Today I think about being a father and it is the toughest, yet most rewarding job I have. Unfortunately, like many other fathers out there, my job as a father is seen as only a part time one. There is no concept that I spend every day worrying about my daughters. People who are comfortably distanced from a situation do not worry about the fact that I only get to communicate with my daughters once a day at most (if their mother allows) and see them just 5 days a month 9 months out of the year. Again, this happens if their mother decides to follow a court order and not schedule things during my “parenting time”.
My wish for this Father’s Day is not to be given a generic holiday greeting as with any other holiday. My wish is for the general population to stop and think about all of the struggling fathers today and to try and do something to help them. Ignore the minority of “dead beat dads” you read about in the papers. The media is there to tell one side of the story and dads make for good villains. (I never read in a popular newspaper about the drug using dead beat moms who still receive support even though their kids live with their father but there are plenty of cases) Reach out to community leaders, attorneys, judges, and anyone else who will listen to try and get some help. These laws and inequities must change in order for kids to have equal opportunities with 2 caring parents no matter what the relationship is between those parents.
This father’s day, I will try and figure out how I will afford to feed my kids when I am forced by a court order to live below the national and state poverty limits because I must pay their mother most of my income. This must be paid despite the fact that my daughters live with me for half of the week through the summer. I will take an anxiety filled two hour Sunday drive to pick up my girls. Hoping that a conflict does not arise, and hoping that they will actually be there this time. I will be considered a lower life form by my daughter’s mother and by other single mothers everywhere because..........
I am a father.
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I'm not only not correcting your grammar, I'm going to make today's post at The Blue Door a link to this. You're absolutely right about everything you say here, and until more people realize the short end that most fathers get when the family breaks up, nothing will change. It's about awareness and action, and the more I can do to help spread the word about all the dads who, like you, anguish over their situations, the better.
ReplyDeleteI came over as a favor to Mrs.Chili whenever I read that people need a pick me up I try to make sure they get what they need. I am sorry it's so ugly for you. Please know that people are out there thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteAnother one over from Mrs. Chili's blog. As a child of parents who divorced in middle school, I can only say how grateful I am for a father who just wanted to be there for my sister and me. The divorce turned my mom depressed and bitter, and eventually my sister and I both chose to live with our dad because it was just a much better environment in which to live. My dad asked for a divorce not knowing if what would happen, and even though he gave up everything to my mother, he felt he got the better end of the deal, as both his daughters really enjoy spending time with him.
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